


BOOM

by disaster_by_chance



Series: Capitalist Kings [3]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29691141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disaster_by_chance/pseuds/disaster_by_chance
Summary: Sam was a powder keg ready to explode and Tommyinnit was the unfortunate individual to light the match.
Relationships: Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit
Series: Capitalist Kings [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166960
Comments: 14
Kudos: 243





	BOOM

Sam never thought of himself as the creatures he descended from.

He found the creepers of their world to be a real nuisance. Always getting in the way, blowing up, creating dangerous craters all over the place, and just overall being destructive creatures that Sam wanted no association with. 

In fact, whenever he came across his kind he was always quick with a bow or a sword to stop them from doing any damage to anyone or anything. Some might’ve seen that as merciless, but Sam didn’t think much of it. 

The hybrid had tried his best to disassociate himself from the rest of his kin. He turned away from destruction and an explosive personality and instead strived to be a peaceful individual who was known for his creations. 

It had been ages since he’d followed in his kind’s destructive pattern. Before when he got stressed or angry, he would explode, quite literally too, and fall prey to that toxic trait. When he saw how much it hurt people, how much it hurt his friends, he did his best to try and better himself. 

He did everything he could to prevent himself from being too stressed and took up building as a way to give him a distraction from the things that worried or upset him. Building was a way to occupy his time, to let his brain start turning gears so that it wouldn’t occupy itself with intrusive thoughts that made Sam hiss and sizzle with negative emotions. By building complicated contraptions and massive attractions, Sam felt like he was contributing to the world in a more positive light than he used to when he would explode at every little mistake made by him or others. 

However, for whatever reason, for whatever cause, today marked the end of that peaceful streak. 

Sam didn’t know what triggered it. He wasn’t sure what caused him to lash out and explode as he’d never done before. Whatever the reason behind it was beyond him. However, it might’ve been just the fact that Sam never wanted to admit how much pressure he’d been under the past few months. For all Sam chose to ignore, it was the direct result of bottling up all his feelings deep down until he was unable to keep the cap screwed on. 

It was several emotions with the main one being an enormous amount of stress. Stress from all that was happening and anxiety from what could happen if Sam wasn’t careful if he wasn’t vigilant.

With Dream in prison and him acting as The Warden, it was taking a toll on his mental stability. Playing a role he wasn’t accustomed to, strict and serious, demanding and cruel, Sam felt like his brain was splitting in two. However, he needed to maintain that mindset around the prison to ensure that Dream stayed where he belonged.

But even then, those close to him would occasionally point out when his persona would show itself outside of the prison. Small moments where Sam would raise his voice or act coldly towards those who didn’t do what he asked them to do. Sometimes Sam laid in bed, awake and terrified that he might lose himself in this persona he created and would get lost in the black stone and obsidian maze that was the Pandora’s Vault. 

It felt like the weight of the server was on his shoulders now and it weighed heavy on him. Everyone seemed to look up to Sam, to expect that he would play his part and make sure that Dream didn’t escape. The kids looked to him as a guardian, as a trusted adult and Sam did everything to make sure things stayed that way. Then there were those who saw Sam for the builder he was, the provider he was, and every now and then he’d get pulled back and forth between personal projects and commissions. Every now and then people would come to him, asking for help, asking for resources, and Sam did his best not to turn them away. 

Sam realized that eyes were on him, everywhere he went. He did his best not to let that get to him, but it did. At night his eyes wouldn’t shut, nothing could convince him that he was safe from any watchful eyes and he was sure that the Egg had a part in that. 

And the Egg. 

Damn that Egg. 

Had it not been for that virus spreading steadily around the server and the minds of the citizens on the server, Sam was sure that the weight wouldn’t be too heavy on his shoulders. At least then he wouldn’t have to worry about his corrupted, sick friends, or not knowing who to trust because the last time he, did he ended up committing auto cannibalism. 

But the Egg was there, and it was real. It was taking over the server, winning over his closest friends, threatening the remaining people he loved, and whispering warnings and temptations to Sam ever since he had been trapped inside it for the night. 

He never was the same after that night. There was no reason for him to feel so tired every day, but he was. However, he never showed it though, always keeping a serious frown in the prison or a bright smile for Tommy. There was no reason for him to hear voices whenever he was near the vines, but he did. They beckoned and they called, and when Sam didn’t answer they hissed and yelled until Sam acknowledged them. There was no reason for his hands to shake whenever he built with redstone or for his eyes to glow a brighter red whenever he looked at himself in the mirror. But it did and it terrified Sam. 

So maybe it was all the stress that came from thinking the server was in his hands. 

Or maybe it was the anger. 

The pure, unfiltered, hateful anger that he felt every time he had to replace Dream’s clock or give him raw potatoes. That anger directed to the old god after Dream had told him everything he did to Tommy in such detail that at one point Sam couldn’t listen anymore and left the conversation, afraid he would cost Dream his last canon life. 

The newfound anger that he felt towards his old friends that flowed and mixed in with feelings of guilt and sadness for what has become of them. The mix of emotions fueled by anger that they would ever betray him to something like the Egg that Sam stuffed down because he wanted to believe that Bad, Ant, and Punz were still his friends. That they were still on his side. 

The pitiful anger towards himself and his inabilities and feelings of hopelessness every time he couldn’t solve a problem. The doubting words from intrusive thoughts of his own, or of the Egg’s, that assured him he would never be able to protect Tommy and Tubbo like he hoped he’d be able to. That he wasn’t enough to keep Dream in prison and be the result of Dream escaping and creating more hurt and terror for everyone on the server. That he was never enough and would never be enough for those who needed him to be there for them. 

Perhaps it was the exhaustion. 

The mental and physical exhaustion of working day and night on projects. Day and night of looking over the prison and making sure Dream stayed where he needed to be. Day and night of making sure Tommy and his friends were safe and that Sam Nook was working the way Sam wanted him to work. Day and night of making sure that the Egg stayed contained and didn’t reach anymore than it already had. Day and night of constant doubt and stress about his place in the world. 

Sure, things seemed to be getting better for the server, for Sam. 

Dream was in prison, everyone was convinced that there was no way he could get out. Tommy was recovering, eager to work on the hotel with Sam Nook and be a kid again. Puffy and Technoblade were putting up propaganda against the Egg and taking a stand with frying pans in hand. Ponk had asked Sam to be his Valentine and Sam said yes, despite Ponk’s playful and prankful nature that often had Sam tearing his hair out from stress. 

Everything seemed to be fine. 

But deep down, Sam knew that things weren’t fine, that things might not be forever fine, and because he didn’t have a solution to it, no fancy redstone contraption to solve it, Sam felt utterly hopeless and useless. 

Weeks and weeks, months and months of these piling up feelings were like gunpowder being stored in barrels, just waiting for someone to come along and drop a match with a flame onto them. 

Sam was a powder keg ready to explode and Tommyinnit was the unfortunate individual to light the match. 

It had been a normal day, it really had been, that is, until Tommy came up to the gates of the prison, desperate to get Sam out to help him with a broken Sam Nook he’d managed to drag all the way from the hotel building site to the entrance of the prison. 

Sam, already tired from playing the role of Warden and weighed down by everything he was storing up, didn’t feel like going out and helping Tommy. But the teen was relentless and Sam knew that he’d have to go out and help him or else he could have more problems on his hand. 

So, reluctantly Sam had gone outside to see what was the matter, how he could help, all after threatening Dream to not try anything funny. 

“What do you want, Tommy?” Sam sternly asked, narrowing his eyes at the teen once he stepped out of the entrance portal. 

The teen looked up at him with relief in his eyes, “Thank god, Sam! I-I need your help, I, Sam Nook, he-” He dragged a powered down and broken body of Sam Nook in front of Sam before recklessly dropping him onto the ground, causing the two of them to flinch and Sam Nook’s eye to pop out of place with a spark. 

“Tommy, what did you do?!” Sam exclaimed, his voice several octaves higher than he would’ve usually approached the situation. But then again, he was still on prison grounds, the mindset of The Warden was firmly locked into place, but Sam was oblivious to the fact. 

Tommy’s eyes widened at the sound of Sam’s voice as he watched the man drop his trident to kneel down to examine Sam Nook’s body. 

“I-I don’t know what happened,” Tommy admitted, frowning as he nervously played with his hands, unsure if this was a good idea or not. But he loved Sam Nook, he wouldn’t admit that sort of thing aloud, but Nook was his friend, and he knew Sam could fix him. He just wanted his friend back. 

“What do you mean you don’t know what happened?!” Sam demanded, looking up at Tommy, anger now in his voice. “How could you possibly not know what happened?!” 

“I don’t know, okay!” Tommy shouted, panicking now. Sam’s voice reminded Tommy of Dream’s whenever the man demanded to blow up Tommy’s things. “M-my back was turned when it happened! I didn’t see- I didn’t-”

“But somehow, magically, Sam Nook got wrecked?” Sam asked, motioning to the robot who didn’t have a single limb that looked like it should’ve. “ _ Somehow _ you managed to destroy him?!”   
  
“I didn’t do it!” Tommy desperately cried out, his eyes stinging, “I swear I didn’t do fucking anything to him!” He’d never do something like that to Sam Nook. Sam Nook was his friend! Tommy knew he fucked up a lot of things, he caused a lot of things to happen that he never really meant for them to happen, but this was different! This wasn’t like those times! He was past that!

“Oh my god,  _ Tommy _ ,” Sam groaned, putting his head in his hands. “Why do you do these things, Tommy? Why?”

Angry now, Tommy snapped, “I fucking told you! I didn’t do shit!” 

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ talk to me like that!” Sam fired back with twice the amount of anger and volume than Tommy that it almost sounded like the hiss of a creeper. 

The creeper hybrid stood up, grabbing his trident as he did so, which made Tommy’s eyes widen and he backed up in fear. The teen could hear the rumbling hiss of a warning given off by creepers, but more importantly, the sound of someone lighting tnt. 

“Tommyinnit, I don’t have time to do this,” Sam hissed, the full name making Tommy freeze into place and his blood run cold, “just tell me what you did.” 

“I already told you, Sam!” Tommy pleaded, “I didn’t do anything! I just want you to fix him!” 

That wasn’t the answer The Warden wanted and Sam didn’t realize that he was steaming, sizzling really, his whole body shaking in frustration and anger. It wasn’t all directed towards Tommy though, Tommy had only triggered it with his antics, it was more a result of all that pent-up emotion and self-doubt, but because Sam didn’t express that, Tommy thought it was all his fault. 

So, he too began to spiral. 

Instead of seeing red like Sam was, he saw all the mistakes he made in the past. Every time L’Manburg blew up, giving away the discs, the flames of George’s house, the tall looming tower of dirt blocks in the middle of the ocean, the comforting warmth of lava, the obsidian walls that closed in on him, everything seemed to just flash by at that moment while the subtle hisses of TNT surrounded him. He was suddenly overcome with a wave of emotions that it felt like he was drowning.

He didn’t want this to happen, he didn’t think this would happen. Sam was his friend, Sam made Sam Nook for him, to help him, to help him build the hotel, so Tommy thought, he just thought that maybe he could go to Sam without worry. That Sam would smile like he normally did and take Sam Nook’s dead robot body and fix it right up for Tommy, making it good as new. 

That unlike everyone else before, Sam would build and fix things for Tommy instead of blow up. 

But that’s exactly what Sam did. 

He hissed and he sizzled, the sounds overwhelming Tommy as he watched his friend shout and yell words and phrases Tommy couldn’t hear over the triggering noises until his creeper side showed with a loud explosion, deafening Tommy and sending him flying backward. 

Tommy crashed into the grass, ears ringing, as smoke surrounded them and the smell of gunpowder filled the air, taking back Tommy to dark times that pinned him down to the grass floor. 

Gasping and wheezing, Tommy tried to open his eyes, tried to breathe, but it felt like someone was standing on his chest. The pressure and anxiety was building up on top of him, every inhale shaky and filled with smoke. His eyes refused to open, terrified that if they did they might see Wilbur, Techno, or Dream looming over Tommy with a manic grin and a pointing finger. 

_ ‘It’s your fault, it’s your fault.’  _

Tommy cried out in distress, making a fist into the ground as he ducked his head, eyes squeezed shut as his entire body shook, unable to stand though his legs wanted to get up and run as far away as possible. 

On the other hand, Sam stood in a pit, surrounded by crumbling dirt and pieces of Sam Nook all around him from his outward explosion of emotion. 

The man coughed, his eyes and skin stinging from the smoke and firepower of the destructive nature of his outburst. His ears were ringing loudly and it took him a few seconds to come to and figure out just what had happened. A quick inhale of smoke as he tried to catch his breath seemed to snap him out of it, but for a second he believed that a creeper had snuck up on them and caught the two off guard. 

But that wasn’t the case. 

Sam felt the stinging sensation of burns along his arms, he could smell the gunpowder that cling onto him like cologne, the ringing in his ears was loud, and his entire body was shaking from the aftermath of the force. 

It was him. It was his fault.

After years and years of not exploding, of not letting his emotions get the best of him, Sam gave into his past temptations and detonated in front of quite possibly the worst person he could ever detonate in front of. 

“Tommy,” Sam whispered, his eyes going wide in realization.

“Oh no, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy,” Sam’s whispers turned into panic mutterings as he frantically looked around the pit, terrified about what he would find aside from robotic body parts. 

When he found nothing in the pit, he jumped out and looked around, waving a hand to get rid of the smoke as he called out for the teen, 

“Tommy! Tommy, where are you?”

The panic was present in his voice and the ringing in his ears was replaced with that foul whispering of how this was all Sam’s fault, that he’d failed Tommy, that he was a terrible person, and though Sam was too busy being concerned about Tommy’s wellbeing to listen, he knew it to be true. 

“Tommy, please!” Sam begged, “Where are you?!” 

He turned around, looking around the perimeter of the destruction before his eyes landed on a shaking figure of Tommy, curled up into a ball, several feet away from the explosion with blackened clothes from the blast. 

“Oh my god, Tommy!” Sam exclaimed and quickly ran over. 

Tommy heard him coming, he heard Sam’s voice. He refused to open his eyes, fearing the sight. Fearing that Sam would come with sweet words of how things would be okay, how he was still Tommy’s friend, or with harsh words trying to convince Tommy that this had all been his fault. 

The sound of Sam kneeling down next to him and the feeling of a warm hand on his shoulder made Tommy’s eyes shoot open though and the boy scrambled to his feet, tripping over his shoes and falling backward and back onto his bottom. 

“Get away, get away-” Tommy muttered in panic whispered, scooting away desperately from Sam with wide eyes and a heaving breath. 

Sam frowned at this, feeling a stab of guilt and pain in his heart at the sight, knowing that this was all his fault. He knew better to not explode, and even then, he knew better than to do it in front of Tommy who’d grown up traumatized by the action. 

“Tommy, listen-” Sam tried with a quiet voice while he reached out for Tommy. 

“Nononononono.” Tommy shook his head, breathing rapidly. “Don’t come close to me!” 

Tommy’s desperate cry made Sam pull his hand away, but he didn’t want to leave Tommy. He couldn’t. He needed to comfort him, to assure him that things were okay. He wanted to tell Tommy that he was safe around him, but Sam wasn’t even sure that was true anymore. If anything, it was the opposite. Sam didn’t want to trust himself around Tommy anymore. 

But for now, he had to try.

“Tommy, please,” Sam pleaded, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to- I-” he frowned, trying to form words, but he wasn’t sure that Tommy could even hear him. 

“I-it’s not your fault Tommy, okay? Can you hear me? It’s not your fault.” 

Tommy’s head snapped forward at these words as he looked at Sam with wide eyes, tears streaming down his face, and for a second he stopped breathing, going completely silent. 

“Do you hear me?” Sam asked, quiet and carefully, “This wasn’t your fault.”

Tommy seemed to be taking this in, but then the teen quickly shook his head and tried to get up on shaky legs, “Nonononono, it’s always my fault. It’s always my fault.” He gripped his hair, his hand shaking, “Dream always said it was my fault, Wilbur h-he- that was my fault, I-I let him-” he choked back a sob. 

“Oh, Tommy,” Sam got up and took a few steps towards Tommy before he was stopped short by a screaming Tommy. 

“I said don’t come near me!”

Sam froze, his eyes widening. His hand slowly dropped to his side as he realized that there wasn’t anything he could do. Nothing he could try to get Tommy to calm down. 

He knew, he already knew how fragile Tommy’s trust was towards adult figures. He knew how every adult Tommy ever looked up to had betrayed him, had let him down, used him, abandoned him. He knew how that ruined Tommy and how difficult it was to get the teenager to trust him. How difficult it was to assure him that Sam wouldn’t let him down. But Sam threw all that out the window just because he couldn’t control his emotions. 

It was a pitiful sight, it really was, Tommy panicking, unable to will his legs to run and hide. Sam still and emotionless, watching helplessly as Tommy spiraled and he too was consumed by irrational and intrusive thoughts. All the while the crater several feet away from them steamed and hissed still with smoke, filled with bits and pieces of what used to be Sam Nook. 

“I c-can’t, I have to-” Tommy looked around wildly and his eyes caught sight of the broken pieces of Sam Nook. 

His eyes widened and for a second he was still, staring at the robotic corpse, until he started to slowly back away, muttering ‘no’s’ under his breath. 

The sight of his friend, broken and lifeless pushed Tommy further on edge. When he’d first come to Sam with hopes of repairing his friend, he was sure that it wasn’t his fault. He had no part in Sam Nook’s demise, but after everything, what just happened, a nagging voice of four insisted that it was his fault. 

His fault Sam Nook got broken.

His fault for upsetting Sam. 

His fault for causing the explosion.

_ His fault, his fault, his fault.  _

It was always his fault when it came to explosions. With his reckless nature and daring personality, Tommy was like a human spark. He was constantly lighting fuses, literally and metaphorically. 

He thought that he’d gotten better. That he’d learned his lesson. He was healing, he was improving! He was getting better at thinking about the consequences and stopping himself before he did impulsive things. 

But he guessed he was wrong. 

He guessed that those he looked up to would forever hate him. Even if he thought Sam was different, his mind had always warned him that Sam was lying. That somehow Sam was using Tommy for his own gains, whether that be with hotel profit or child labor, and that Sam never really did like him like he claimed he did. 

That like Dream, Sam was just wearing a mask. And the Warden, the Warden was who Sam really was. Cold and cruel, angry and aggressive, nothing like the protective, caring, and friendly hybrid that Tommy had gotten to know, to trust. 

Tommy thought he’d been getting better. Thought that the trauma had been pushed aside, forgotten about, something that would no longer bother him, but for whatever reason, that wasn’t the case. Clearly, he still had problems and the thought of still being broken wrecked him. 

From one explosion came this onslaught of emotions and only then did Tommy realize how broken he was. 

And the sad thing was, the person he could turn to for help, the person he wanted to turn to for help, needed to turn to, was just the person who Tommy was now too afraid to ever approach again. 

“Tommy, I’m so sorry,” Sam tried, his voice quiet and face broken. 

The teen looked at him, he could see the guilt and shame on Sam’s features, but Tommy just couldn’t trust him. The green of Sam’s hair, the glow of his eyes, and the smell of TNT, all aspects of Sam that never bothered him before, made Tommy’s head spin. The voices in his head, the ones that would tell him to jump into the lava, to not trust Dream, all of them screamed at him to believe Sam. To believe Sam and run into his arms and just stay there in comfort and safety. 

But...But Tommy didn’t listen to them. 

Instead, he listened to Dream’s voice, the one that told him Sam isn’t playing the role of friend. Instead, he listened to Wilbur’s voice, the one that told him he was nothing but a troublemaker. 

Instead, he listened to Techno’s voice, the one that told him he was the one at fault. 

Instead, he listened to his father’s voice, the one that told him he deserved all of this. 

Instead, Tommy gave Sam one last look before turning a heel and running as fast as he could on shaking legs, desperate to get away from it all. He hadn’t felt this helpless since his exile and the feelings just ate at him. 

Sam shouted behind him, and Tommy glanced over his shoulder, his vision blurry but as far as Tommy was concerned, the man didn’t follow after him. 

Good. He didn’t need him anyway. 

Gripping his trident with a shaking arm, Sam dropped his head and inhaled sharply before he yelled in frustration, throwing his trident to the side. The weapon slid across the grass, leaving marks in its wake before falling into the crater with a clatter once it hit the stone. 

Sam let out a stifled sob as he dropped to his legs, his hands coming to his eyes as tears of anger and frustration towards himself started to form. 

All he could hear was the stupid voice that told him he wasn’t enough, how badly he just messed up, how things could never be how he wanted them to be. All that noise drowned out the noise of the sizzling and hissing from his skin, warning him to be careful. 

But he couldn’t hear and he didn’t listen and for the second time, he went boom. 

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to angst-ville population: me.
> 
> I had this idea for a bit, thinking about how traumatized Tommy would be from explosions and how Sam happens to be a creeper, so I put two and two together and made this. 
> 
> Of course, this is just their characters in the Dream SMP and not their ccs themselves. Thank you and hope you enjoyed the read!


End file.
